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Sports: Disabled Athlete Likes It When Opponents Go Easy On Him
SHIPPENSBURG, PA—At first glance, 17-year-old Jeremy Davis looks like any other member of the Shippensburg Lions wrestling team. He jostles for key position against his teammates, participates in spin and takedown drills, and seems to enjoy the challenges of his sport.
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Do The New Tablets Own Up To The Hype?
 When tablet computers first reared their heads in the '90s, they were quickly written off as low-powered machines that were kind of neat, but not...
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
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[audio] Gay Gene Isolated, Ostracized
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
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Out-Of-Control Group Yields Little Usable Data
ATLANTA—A study of the effects of antidepressants on sleep patterns was derailed this week when the experiment's out-of-control...
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Global Warming Skeptics Growing In Numbers
Since 2008, the number of people who don't believe in global warming has doubled to 16 percent. What do you think?
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20% Of Teens Have High Cholesterol
A study of American teens shows that one in five has unhealthy cholesterol levels. What do you think?
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Local CVS Selling One Leather Jacket For Some Reason
News In Photos
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Sports: Wrestling Fan's Comments Alternate Between Admitting It's Fake, Forgetting It's Fake
STATEN ISLAND, NY—During a recent screening of WWE Friday Night SmackDown, wrestling enthusiast David Graziano fluctuated between an awareness that the match he was watching was completely scripted and a willingness to treat the event as though it were 100 percent real.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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Girl Welcomed To Womanhood With 4-Page Pamphlet
 McMillan is ushered into menarche with flowers, rainbows, and bullet points.
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Hulking Strongman Now Only Voice Of Reason In Republican Party
News In Photos
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[video] Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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Sports: Area Man Wonders What Gisele Bundchen And Tom Brady Talk About
WATERBURY, CT—While skimming an SI.com article about Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, local roofer Ernest Wilkinson, 46, told reporters Thursday that he could not even begin to comprehend what the American-born football player and his wife...
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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[audio] 18-Year-Old Demands Right To Be Sexually Harrassed In Workplace
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
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Nation Shudders At Large Block Of Uninterrupted Text
 The giant mass of prose was devoid of so much as a large pulled quote for readers to glance at before moving on.
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Autistic Child Ruins Marriage He Was Born To Save
HOUSTON—With the challenges accompanying his developmental disorder widening the already vast gulf between his parents, autistic child Evan Thomas, 3, continued this week to destroy the failing marriage he was brought into this world to save.
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Nation Shudders At Large Block Of Uninterrupted Text
WASHINGTON—Without an illustration, chart, or embedded YouTube video to ease them in, millions of dumbfounded citizens from Maine to California were frozen in place, terrified by the sight of one long, unbroken string of English words unsure of what to do next.
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