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Your Horoscopes - Week Of August 31, 2010
Aries Your daughter's memory will still haunt your dreams, but it's a welcome change from all the relived failures and sweaty former scoutmasters. Taurus Just when you thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, the star...
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Opinion: Sorry, I'm Just Really Bad With Names And Faces Of People Who Are Not Attractive And Can't Help Advance My Career (by Michael Warner)
Hi, how do you do? I'm Michael. Pleased to meet you. What? We've met three times before? Really! Well, how embarrassing.
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Infographic: Original Kermit Donated To Smithsonian
Last week, Jane Henson, widow of Jim Henson, donated 10 Muppets to the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, including the original Kermit. Here are some of the other things donated to the museum in the past six months:
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Tips: In Focus: Hurricane Safety Tips
Hurricane season is upon us. Here are some tips to help protect you and your loved ones in the event of such a storm:
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8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live
NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having simultaneously realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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In Focus: Gulf Of Mexico Inducted Into OPEC
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[video] Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer
Police invaded notorious meth dealer Daryl Krogen's home, seizing dozens of bicycle parts and more than ten dollars worth of stolen paint.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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Infographic: Original Kermit Donated To Smithsonian
Last week, Jane Henson, widow of Jim Henson, donated 10 Muppets to the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, including the original Kermit. Here are some of the other things donated to the museum in the past six months:
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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[video] Packers Fan Announces He Will Return To Drinking For Another Season
Chris Lukawski, a longtime devotee of the Packers and beer, is confident his battered liver and family can handle another NFL season of unrestrained alcohol consumption.
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American Voices: Number Of Illegal Immigrants Declining
A study from the Pew Hispanic Center found that with the economy continuing to falter, the number of illegal immigrants in the U.S.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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In Focus: Gulf Of Mexico Inducted Into OPEC
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
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[video] Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer
Police invaded notorious meth dealer Daryl Krogen's home, seizing dozens of bicycle parts and more than ten dollars worth of stolen paint.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
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American Voices: Tongue Stud May Cause Tooth Gap
A case study in the Journal Of Clinical Orthodontics showed that over a period of seven years, a young woman playing with her tongue stud inadvertently caused a gap to form between her front teeth.
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[video] In Focus: New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go
From our Bangladesh channel: The Smart Stitch is being hailed as a revolutionary garment factory that fits in the palm of your hand.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
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8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live
NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having simultaneously realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
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Pentagon Ripped Off By Shady Weapons Dealer
ARLINGTON, VA—Defense Secretary Robert Gates admitted losing $192 million in defense funds Tuesday when he unwittingly purchased a large number of bogus BGM-109 Tomahawk missiles from a disreputable arms dealer known only as "Steve." ...
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