Always Up To Date on Funny News

[video] Packers Fan Announces He Will Return To Drinking For Another Season

Chris Lukawski, a longtime devotee of the Packers and beer, is confident his battered liver and family can handle another NFL season of unrestrained alcohol consumption.

Tips: In Focus: Hurricane Safety Tips

Hurricane season is upon us. Here are some tips to help protect you and your loved ones in the event of such a storm:

Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News

Sports World Limping Toward Football Opener Like Mortally Wounded Deer

HAGERSTOWN, MD—With Major League Baseball's postseason still a month out and college football weeks away from conference play, the sports world continues to stagger toward the NFL's opening kickoff like a gut-shot doe spewing blood from its mouth an...

Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News

American Voices: Tongue Stud May Cause Tooth Gap

A case study in the Journal Of Clinical Orthodontics showed that over a period of seven years, a young woman playing with her tongue stud inadvertently caused a gap to form between her front teeth.

Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News

8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live

NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having simultaneously realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.

Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures

Firm can't fire man for 1.8 cent theft (Reuters)

Reuters - A German company that fired a man for the theft of 1.8 euro cents (two U.S. cents) worth of electricity had no grounds for sacking him, a court ruled, dismissing the firm's appeal against his reinstatement.

Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough

Infographic: Original Kermit Donated To Smithsonian

Last week, Jane Henson, widow of Jim Henson, donated 10 Muppets to the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, including the original Kermit. Here are some of the other things donated to the museum in the past six months:

Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures

Permission to laugh at election -- for now (Reuters)

Reuters - Brazil's election is a laughing matter again, at least for now.

Dutch colleges angry over sex job ads for freshmen (Reuters)

Reuters - A number of Dutch colleges are considering legal action against the publisher of a move-in guide for new freshmen, after the company included an ad recruiting students for jobs as online sex workers.

Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough

Man bites police over a pet peeve (Reuters)

Reuters - Police arrested an 82-year-old man after he bit and kicked officers who had arrived to mediate in a dispute with a neighbor over a domestic pet.

[audio] U.S. To Slow Down Relationship With Uruguay

Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News

Magazine: Don't Show This Cover To Your Wife Unless You Want Your Living Room To Look Exactly Like This

Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures

Department Of Just Saying: 'Been A While Since An Athlete Has Died During A Game'

WASHINGTON—In a report written in collaboration with the Bureau of Just Throwing It Out There, the Department of Just Saying noted Wednesday that it had been a good long while since an athlete had died on the field during a major sporting event.

Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News

Politician raffles breast implants (Reuters)

Reuters - A Venezuelan politician is offering breast implants as a prize in a raffle to raise funds for his parliamentary election campaign.

Finance Ministry says defrauded by staffer (Reuters)

Reuters - The Dutch Finance Ministry Thursday acknowledged it was defrauded out of more than 160,000 euros ($204,800) earlier this year by an employee of the ministry unit that handles the state's financing needs.

Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough

T-shirt explains Philadelphia's blunt speech (Reuters)

Reuters - For Mike Monteiro, a transplanted Philadelphian who now lives in California, his T-shirt says it all.

Older people enjoy reading negative stories about young (Reuters)

Reuters - Older people like reading negative news stories about their younger counterparts because it boosts their own self-esteem, according to a new study.

Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough

Bears To Replace Soldier Field Grass With Plush Carpeting

Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News

Malaysia uncovers nearly 100 live reptiles in bag (Reuters)

Reuters - Malaysian airport security arrested a convicted wildlife smuggler after finding almost 100 live reptiles in his luggage, the country's Wildlife and National Parks Department said.

Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough