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Double-Booked Tropicana Field Holds First Haunted House World Series
ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Tampa Bay Rays officials and Tropicana Field stadium management announced Wednesday night that, due to an unfortunate and unresolved scheduling conflict, the facility would continue to host the first ever Haunted House... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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World's oldest polar bear dies at Canadian zoo
(Reuters)
Reuters - Canadian zoo officials on Tuesday were mourning the death of what is believed to be the world's oldest polar bear. Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough |
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Blistex Executive Makes Fool Of Himself At Lip-Balm Conference
 Bernard Ganley embarrasses himself, Blistex, and the entire lip-care industry. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
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I'm Not One Of Those 'Love Thy Neighbor' Christians
Everybody has this image of "crazy Christians" based on what they hear in the media, but it's just not true. Most Christians are normal, decent... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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History Doomed To Repeat Itself, Reports Man Who Just Dropped Food On Pants
DENVER—After dropping a chili dog in his lap Tuesday, area resident Marcus Nielson addressed the food-related blunder, calling it but... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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[audio] Bioengineers Outsmarted By Strain Of Intelligent Wheat
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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General and daughter enjoy Thai-style family feud
(Reuters)
Reuters - Thailand's three-year political crisis has divided friends and families, but few can have felt the strain as much as the Sawadipol clan. Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough |
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NY couple, trucker help injured butterfly migrate
(AP)
AP - A monarch butterfly has a chance at completing its species' famed migration to central Mexico thanks to some tiny cardboard splints, a bit of contact cement and a trucker from Alabama. Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough |
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If Only Someone Had Written A Song Describing The Bittersweet, Cyclical Nature Of The Father-Son Relationship
 Over the years, music has covered a wide range of human emotions. But one aspect of the human condition that has never been evoked by a single... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
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Election Blog: Oi! The Americans 'ave Picked A President!
Well bless my 'eart and call me Cromwell! The yank election 'as come to an end at last. Isn't it wonderful? A new leader across the pond. And... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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Election Blog: I'm Glad I Don't Have A Brain Yet, Because I Hate Elitism
If there's one thing I am sick and tired of listening to as I sit here growing clusters of nerve cells that will eventually form ears, it's ... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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Woman wins $2.4 million on her first trip to Las Vegas
(AP)
AP - A 24-year-old woman, on her first trip to Las Vegas, is worrying less about the nation's economy. That's because Jessica Agbunag won $2.4 million on Wednesday at a Wheel of Fortune slot machine at the California Hotel and Casino. Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough |
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Dog hits controls, drives van into coffee house
(AP)
AP - A dog left inside a running van put the vehicle in drive, causing it to crash into a Long Island coffee house. Suffolk County police said no one was injured in the incident, which damaged the glass window and some patio furniture at Cool Beanz coffee shop in St. James. Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough |
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Donald Fagen Defends Steely Dan To Friends
NEW YORK—"Do you know how many guitar players tried and failed to nail the solo on the song 'Peg'? Six—That's commitment to a vision if you ask me," Fagen said. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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Majority Of Americans Never Use Physical Education After High School
CEDAR RAPIDS, IA—"My gym teacher used to drone on about 'physical well-being—breaking a sweat, coordination—I still don't know what that means," said Kevin Higgins. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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Octogenarian charged with dealing pain pills
(AP)
AP - Law enforcement authorities arrested an 81-year-old man who illegally sold powerful prescription pain relievers. The arrest followed a raid on a home Monday by the Alaska Bureau of Alcohol and Drug Enforcement. Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough |
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Peregrine Falcon Acting Pretty Cocky Since Being Taken Off Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON—"We feared we'd never see these majestic creatures again, but since their resurgence they've been acting like 'king shit'," said Wildlife Deputy Rowan Gould. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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Kangaroo genes close to humans
(Reuters)
Categories: Funny News | Humor | News | Odd News | Yahoo News | Yahoo News Oddly Enough |
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Long-Snapper And Son Long-Snap A Few Balls Around Backyard
CLEVELAND— Former Browns long-snapper Wes Hardigree, 38, took advantage of the lovely autumn weather Wednesday afternoon, picking up his 8-year-old son Ben from school and long-snapping the ball around the backyard of their suburban... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
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I'm Not One Of Those 'Love Thy Neighbor' Christians
 Everybody has this image of "crazy Christians" based on what they hear in the media, but it's just not true. Most Christians are normal, decent... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
