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[video] In Focus: Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South
Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass south of them instead.
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In Focus: Gulf Of Mexico Inducted Into OPEC
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Infographic: Original Kermit Donated To Smithsonian
Last week, Jane Henson, widow of Jim Henson, donated 10 Muppets to the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, including the original Kermit. Here are some of the other things donated to the museum in the past six months:
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American Voices: Menopause Meds May Harm Kids
The Food and Drug Administration has warned that Evamist, a prescription spray used to control hot flashes in menopausal women, may cause premature breast development in children.
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Pentagon Ripped Off By Shady Weapons Dealer
ARLINGTON, VA—Defense Secretary Robert Gates admitted losing $192 million in defense funds Tuesday when he unwittingly purchased a large number of bogus BGM-109 Tomahawk missiles from a disreputable arms dealer known only as "Steve." ...
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[video] In Focus: New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go
From our Bangladesh channel: The Smart Stitch is being hailed as a revolutionary garment factory that fits in the palm of your hand.
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Tips: In Focus: Hurricane Safety Tips
Hurricane season is upon us. Here are some tips to help protect you and your loved ones in the event of such a storm:
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[video] Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer
Police invaded notorious meth dealer Daryl Krogen's home, seizing dozens of bicycle parts and more than ten dollars worth of stolen paint.
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8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live
NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having simultaneously realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.
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[video] In Focus: Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South
Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass south of them instead.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
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American Voices: Tongue Stud May Cause Tooth Gap
A case study in the Journal Of Clinical Orthodontics showed that over a period of seven years, a young woman playing with her tongue stud inadvertently caused a gap to form between her front teeth.
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[audio] Area Man Less Capable Than Own Watch
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[video] Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer
Police invaded notorious meth dealer Daryl Krogen's home, seizing dozens of bicycle parts and more than ten dollars worth of stolen paint.
Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
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Department Of Just Saying: 'Been A While Since An Athlete Has Died During A Game'
WASHINGTON—In a report written in collaboration with the Bureau of Just Throwing It Out There, the Department of Just Saying noted Wednesday that it had been a good long while since an athlete had died on the field during a major sporting event.
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Staples Brings On Extra Staff To Sit Around And Do Nothing For Busy Back-To-School Season
FRAMINGHAM, MA—With the back-to-school shopping season in full swing, office-supply chain Staples announced that it would be hiring thousands of additional sales personnel to mope uselessly around the store and sullenly count the hours until closing...
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