Related Categories:
Fake News
Funny News
News
The Onion
|
|
|
Scientists Warn Large Earth Collider May Destroy Earth
 BATAVIA, IL—In October, Fermilab scientists joined a growing number of physicists around the world in warning that the Very Large Earth... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
|
700 Billion Bailout Celebrated With Lavish 800 Billion Executive Party
GEORGE TOWN, CAYMAN ISLANDS—4-tons of Beluga caviar and $250,000 bottles of vintage Dom Pérignon were on hand for America's CEOs to celebrate the historic bailout. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
Earth, Prepare To Meet Thy DOOM!
This past earthly solar cycle was one to be remembered. A year of change. A year of hope. Pitiful, misplaced hope! But by far, the single most... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
Survival Of Autoerotic Asphyxiation Closest Thing Man Got To Christmas Miracle
DUNDEE, IL—"This is what Christmas is all about," said a police investigator, who found the unconscious body after responding to complaints of a loud crash. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
America's First Gay President Concludes Historic Second Term
WASHINGTON—President George W. Bush was unusually reflective in the final weeks of his administration, taking time during speeches and press conferences to look back on key decisions, expound on his legacy, and tout his role in paving the... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
China Hosts Realistic-Looking Olympics
BEIJING—Long after the closing ceremonies of last August's XXIX Olympiad, participants and spectators from around the world were still talking about the incredibly lifelike, almost realistic atmosphere the nation of China was able to bring... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
Cavaliers Declared NBA Champions As Basketball Knocks Off Early
NEW YORK—A happy, triumphant, and visibly relieved LeBron James accepted the 2009 NBA Championship trophy from commissioner David Stern at a small ceremony in New York Wednesday, just hours after the NBA announced that it would be canceling... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
$700 Billion Bailout Celebrated With Lavish $800 Billion Executive Party
 Relieved CEOs were greeted by a life-size ice sculpture of the Taj Mahal. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
|
Iran's Nuclear Operation Revealed To Be Cover For Greatest Roller Coaster Ever
 Ali Baba and the 40 Loops Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
|
That One Kid In Rec Basketball League Always Wearing Jeans During Games
CARMICHAELS, PA—Sources confirmed yesterday that the kid in the Carmichaels YMCA youth basketball league, the one who plays for the team in yellow jerseys sponsored by Grimaldi Dental Associates, played another game Tuesday wearing blue... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
Barack Obama Defeats Barack Hussein Obama
WASHINGTON—According to sources, the socialist Muslim Barack Hussein Obama came out of nowhere in late 2007 and threatened to end the Illinois senator's campaign. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
Jimmie Johnson's Car Put Out To Stud
CHARLOTTE, NC—Hendrick Motorsports confirmed what many NASCAR fans had suspected all season, announcing Wednesday that Jimmie Johnson's number 48 Chevrolet Impala would be put out to stud, ending its career in stock-car racing and living... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
Dame Judi Dench Begins Dating Female DJ
LOS ANGELES—Dench surprised the media when photos emerged of the classically trained actress and a younger female DJ canoodling in L.A. hotspot Chateau Marmont. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
America's First Gay President Concludes Historic Second Term
 George W. Bush Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
|
Survival Of Autoerotic Asphyxiation Closest Thing Man Got To Christmas Miracle
 Herb Fosbeck got a very special present this holiday season, or something like it. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
|
Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath Of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres
 Claire drowns the western, eastern, northern, and southern seaboards, valleys, and metropolitan areas. Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
|
The Onion's 2008 In Review: Entertainment
This year, tabloid mainstays like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton were largely out of the limelight. What do you think? Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
Typo In Proposition 8 Defines Marriage As Between 'One Man And One Wolfman'
SACRAMENTO, CA—Activists on both sides of the gay marriage debate were shocked this November, when a typographical error in California's... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |
|
China Hosts Realistic-Looking Olympics
 BEIJING—Long after the closing ceremonies of last August's XXIX Olympiad, participants and spectators from around the world were still... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Pictures |
|
Loose Ball Evades Entire NBA
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—A Devin Harris three-point attempt that caromed wildly off the back of the rim during the third quarter of Wednesday night's New York Knicks—New Jersey Nets game has created a disruption involving the entire NBA,... Categories: Fake News | Funny News | News | The Onion | The Onion Daily News |